Shammell’s Tuesday Tirade: Pilot Post
- Updated: October 3, 2012
Hello readers and welcome to what is hopefully the first of many installments of my very own Tuesday Tirade. I’m going to take this opportunity to sound off on nearly any and everything sports related that happened between last Tuesday and today. As to not ramble, I’ll attempt to break it down into categories of bests, and worsts.
Before I get started, let me give a big formal farewell to the playoff hopes of our Philadelphia Phillies. In a roller coaster year, we can take a few lessons from the visual and mental abuse the baseball fans of the city had to endure from April until now.
Number 1.) DO NOT WORRY! Next year is a new season! Hopefully, the team maintains their health throughout the offseason, and we STILL have the best pitching rotation in all of the land (thank the Lord no Yankees fan would waste their time on a site called PHILLY Sports Live, or else I’d probably be answering “Philadelphia pitching sucks,” comments for the next week). Hamels, Halladay, and Lee will be back in full force, don’t you worry! Luckily Xfinity Live is open all year around; it will keep us busy until spring training.
Number 2.) The future looks bright! Bringing up guys like Kratz, Aumont, and even Darin Ruf (a very late call up, I know) did nothing but assure me that we aren’t as old as we look. The youth movement will keep replenishing itself as it usually does in the Philly farm system, and the Fightins’ should shape up in years to come.
Number 3.) EVERY OTHER TEAM’S FANS HATE PHILLIES FANS! The sooner you all get used to it, the better. Have your petty arguments about how Philadelphia fans are better than New York fans. Jealousy is the highest form of flattery. “Jealous of what?! The Phillies didn’t make the playoffs!” Yeah, well, baseball fans in Washington haven’t had anything to cheer about since the 40’s, so they can take this year.
Alright, now that that is out of the way, let’s get to it! My goal is to break down the best and worst in a few categories every week. The categories may change, or they may stay the same (that’s the beauty of a blog, I haven’t gotten that far yet, and frankly, I don’t really have to).
BEST Performer of the Week– For this, we’re going with performers (plural).
Congratulations go out to all of the Major League Baseball teams who have punched their ticket to the post-season. An even bigger congrats go out to the Cinderella of the League, the Baltimore O’s (I want to wait until the Athletics officially clinch to make a post about them). Seriously, get me a time machine to go back to the end of June to put money on the Orioles to clinch a playoff spot and I’d be doing something other than blogging at 2 o’clock on a Tuesday morning. It won’t be a red October here in Philly, but baseball fans are in luck, because the playoffs are shaping up to be a doozy. This puts Bud Selig back into my good graces, because the extra wild card team was GENIUS! He still urks me because of the whole World Series postponement due to freezing rain in ’08. PEOPLE DON’T FORGET!
WORST Performer of the Week– Tony Romo, QB, Dallas Cowboys
As if there was any question. Regardless of what anyone feels, YOU CANNOT throw 5 interceptions on Monday Night Football and have it go unnoticed. Tony, Tony, Tony… Somewhere Jessica Simpson is giggling eating a can of tuna (or chicken, she’s not really sure), because you ABSOLUTELY embarrassed yourself on national television. To a certain extent, I almost started feeling sorry for him, but then I remembered he’s the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, and all the pain went away.
BEST Fantasy Player of the Week– Tom Brady, QB, New England Patriots
Tom Brady had himself a week, simple as that. In a game that almost saw the Buffalo Bills send The New England Brady Bunch to an ugly 1-3, Brady calmed his troops and rallied the momentum to a 22 for 36 performance for 340 yards in the air, and 3 tossing TD’s. And let’s not forget that pretty litte four yard scramble that had his fantasy owners dancing in their LA-Z-BOY (let’s see about getting some ad money for that plug).
WORST Fantasy Player of the Week– Mark Sanchez, QB, New York Jets
May God bless the poor souls in this world who have Pretty Boy Sanchez as their starting quarterback. I hope that you have AT LEAST 20 guys in your league, and waited until round 3 to snag a QB. I’ll do this quick because it hurts me to put someone on blast like this, but 13 for 29 for 103 yards, NO TD’s, and an interception. Ewww. OH, and let’s not forget that fumble.
BEST News of the Week– NFL and NFL Referees Association reach agreement
That’s right! We can go back to booing regular refs again! The most beautiful part? They’re locked down for eight years! Hallelujah! On another note, as awful as it sounds to every Packers fan in the country, the replacements deserve a thank you (hear me out). Without the replacements, the first 3 weeks WOULD NOT have occurred. The quality of officials was so poor for one reason and one reason only. I’m sure top ranking NCAA officials would jump at the opportunity to ref in the NFL. However, the fact that they may be on the big stage one day more than likely held most of them back. If you cross a picket line of veteran, well respected referees (or any profession for that matter), you can kiss any chance at getting respected by them goodbye. So, the NFL filed out a troop of low end college and high school (not to mention REJECTED Lingerie Football League) referees in hopes that the games would go off without a hitch… We all saw how that turned out. I’m just relieved that Baby Gap won’t go out of business now that Ed Hochuli is back to wearing his smedium zebra stripes.
Worst News of the Week– Denver Nuggets release alternate jersey
No words… just check the picture. They’re hideous.
Last but not least, there is no worst for this category, just best… for no reason other than the fact that I can do that.
BEST Game of the Week– West Virginia University vs. Baylor University, Division I Football
In a game that saw two top 25 teams duke it out in Morgantown, WV, I don’t think you could have asked for ANY MORE entertainment. Fans in attendance, and all over the nation, got a treat as WVU topped Baylor by a score of 70-63 (and yes, college basketball doesn’t start until next month, that’s a FOOTBALL score). Geno Smith threw up the most absurd figures of any college quarterback in memory, unless you watched SpikeTV’s recently extinguished series Blue Mountain State. Smith slung the pigskin for an astonishing six hundred and fifty-six yards (yes, I wrote that out for dramatic effect). Oh, and did I mention the eight touchdowns?! Is this kid for real? The worst part about it is that the “losing” quarterback, Nick Florence of Baylor, broke the single game school passing record of that guy, what’s his name… You probably know him as RGIII, last years Heisman winner. Florence threw for 581 yards, 5 touchdowns, and somehow LOST. A closing note, Geno Smith, who has yet to be picked off this season, threw more TD’s than incompletions… 8 to 6, respectively.
On a side note, I don’t know what was better, the game itself or the fans singing “Country Roads” after the game.
That about does it for me, if I keep writing, I may go into Wednesday. Then I’d have to change the title of this nonsense. Damn you alliteration! Have a great week sports fans!